An Ode to the (Low Temp) Hot Glue Gun

As a crafty sort of girl (referring to my fondness for making sock puppets and decoupage frames, not my wiliness), a low temp hot glue gun is sometimes my best friend.  Note that it’s the low temp one that I like, because I am far too clumsy to use the higher temp glue guns that really hurt when you burn yourself…which I do…all the time.  Anyway, I was using a glue gun the other day to piece together children’s costumes and I marveled at the glue gun’s amazingness.  I love it so much that if I was a superhero, my tool of choice would totally be a glue gun.  Listen, you could fix anything with it, and destroy villains with it too- it's a good choice.  Anyway, here’s my ode to the hot glue gun (as you will see, it is titled appropriately).

An Ode to the (Low Temp) Hot Glue Gun

O Glue Gun of a medium hot heat,

Thanks ever so much

For making crafts so easy,

And so fun.

Within seconds-

Something that seemed impossible

Is now a reality.

Because of you.

The Almighty (low temp) Glue Gun.

Although you burn my fingers,

I forgive you.

Because you were only doing your job

And I got in the way.

You can do anything.

Felt, fabric, feathers-

You make it work.

You’re there whenever I need you,

(As long as I can wait a minute for you to warm up),

And you’re always willing to help.

You have the power of a god,

And the qualities of a best friend.

O Glue Gun of a medium hot heat,

Thanks ever so much.

The Many Faces of My Hair

Very recently I cut my hair about 7 or 8 inches, which was pretty drastic for me.  I really like having short hair for summer, but one of the really weird things about this new cut is that everyday it looks different.  I take on a new style/personality/persona every time I roll out of bed.  (Well, actually, that’s not true, because usually when I roll out of bed it looks the same every morning- which mostly resembles morning hair from sitcoms).  

What my hair looks like in the morning...

But so far I’ve gone through a couple different looks, and feel like for some reason they are affecting my personality…which is weird.

Look #1: Meg Ryan.  This was what I looked like when I first got my hair cut, and also a few days after.  Mostly Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail, where she’s got that short, late 1990s/early 2000s, flippy thing going on.  That’s what I looked like.  Which I said about a million times.  As my sister kept reminding me.  I’ve also heard Reese Witherspoon in Sweet Home Alabama, but that’s pretty much the same short, early 2000s, flippy thing, so I count them in the same category.

Look #2: Indie.  I don’t know where this look came from, but the day after I got my hair cut it all of a sudden the top layers curved toward my head while the bottom layer flipped out.  I accidentally went indie for a day.  Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I am generally a very mainstream person, and I kept getting confused when I looked in the mirror that I was actually staring at my own reflection and not someone who wears ironic hair bows and listens to bands like “Drowning in the Window” or “Your Blue Shoe”.  (Which by the way, I clearly made up, so I apologize if I accidentally referenced a real band).

Look #3: Classic Bob.  This one was not so much an accident as very purposeful.  So, I can’t give my hair credit for this one.  But let’s be honest, if I was going to wait until my hair straightened itself, then I would be waiting until pigs fly (which, due to crazy technology stuff will probably be about 3 years, so I’d be waiting about 3 years for my hair to straighten, and that’s far too long).  So I straightened it myself, and realized that I pretty much had a classic bob hidden under the flippy/curly layers.  And since this is kind of what I was originally hoped for, I was pleased.

Look #4: Baby Pigtails.  Ok, this didn’t just happen either, but it’s still another of the many faces of my hair (…does that even make sense?)  It’s basically the only “up-do” I can do; two itty bitty baby pigtails.  And they’re so cute and teeny I feel like I’m in kindergarten again, although I never had baby pigtails when I was little, so I don’t know where these odd nostalgic feelings are coming from…

Baby pigtails + Patriotism

Look #5:  The Air Dry.  When I let my hair air dry it looks…well…mostly good.  Good enough that I absolutely intend to do absolutely nothing with my hair on a regular basis.  It ends up a little bit curly, a little bit flippy, and it’s good enough for me.

Don't mind the awkward faces, just look at the (awkward) hair

So, the message for all of you out there trying to decide whether to cut your hair short for the summer is…(drumroll please!)….[maybe] DO IT!  I mean, I would tell you straight out to do it, but then if it goes wrong I do not want to be blamed when you look like a pageboy, so…yeah.  (But my doubly-unofficial advice is go for it.  Because everything I say on this blog is unofficial anyway.) 

Side Note: Also, if you can donate your hair, do it.  Because then you get a cool haircut, AND you get do something for others.  I’ve done it twice and loved it.

At Last I See the Light: Why Adults Need to Give Children's Movies a Try

To all of the adults out there…well, actually, just anyone over the age of about 12 or 13, I need to tell you something really important.  Just because a movie is animated and appropriate for children to watch, doesn’t mean that the movie is exclusively for the enjoyment of children.  If you hold the view in life that these animated movies with G or PG ratings aren’t for you, then you are missing out my friend, on some wonderful stories.

This is not to say that all movies marketed toward children will be enjoyed by everyone.  There are many movies with silly dialogue, clearly dumbed down for children, and awkward slapstick scenes where everyone ends up covered in food or slime.  But this holds for mainstream movies- there are always a few “fun” and “goofy” films out that you might go see if your friend asked you to go see a movie with them, but for the most part you couldn’t care less about.  So if you’ve had a bad experience with one of these dumbed down movies, and feel that “children’s movies” will never capture your attention, please try again.  I’ll give you specific instructions on how to find a great children’s movie.

1) Watch the trailer before going to see the movie.  If it makes you laugh, makes you think, or makes you make a noise similar to when you see a cute baby or puppy, then go see it.  2) The greatest children’s movies are usually from Disney, Pixar, and sometimes Dreamworks.  You can count on these guys like you can count on your abacus.  (Actually, those are two totally different kinds of counting…and I doubt you have an abacus…but anyway, you can trust them to churn out something good).  3) The best combo for children’s movies (well, actually any movie really) is a little bit of smart and a little bit of heart.  Movies that don’t try and condescend to the assumed intelligence level and knowledge base of children are way more interesting for both children and adults.  The jokes are funnier, the plot more interesting, and the characters are more developed.  Also, those movies that go beyond the superficial jokes and include genuine stories that tug at your heartstrings are always worth watching.  If I cried in movie theaters (something that I prevent myself from doing for some, probably deeply psychological reason), then I would have cried at most of the children’s movies I’ve seen in the past couple of years: Kung Fu Panda 2 (even better than the first), Tangled (just absolutely amazing, new favorite Disney princess), Toy Story 3 (best conclusion to a trilogy.  Ever.), Despicable Me (cute, funny, and heartfelt), Up (the main character is an old man – How’d they do that? Genius.), How to Train Your Dragon (comedic gags and misty eyes), The Princess and the Frog (that music? Yeah, I’ve got the soundtrack…), the list continues for a while, so I won’t go through everything.

I know that everyone has different tastes, because everyone’s different, yadda yadda yadda, but I think there are a lot of people who write-off these amazing movies marketed to children, just because they are marketed to children.  Let me reiterate: just because a movie happens to be appropriate and/or animated, doesn’t mean that adults won’t enjoy it.  Just try watching a Pixar movie (Cars excluded- that’s mostly for little boys for some reason), and not enjoying it.  I’m telling you, they’ve got the jokes, they’ve got the characters, they’ve got the heart.  If you haven’t opened yourself up to children’s movies, there’s some great cinema that you’re missing.

(...Also, you can keep me company when I go to see these movies while I'm surrounded by children less than half my age.  'Cause I've got to admit, that part is a little bit awkward.)

Fantastical Strawberry Milk and Sweet Pink Cows (...or just the milk)

Strawberry milk rocks.  I have always held this opinion, although I did seem to forget it for a while in the middle of my short life.  Having recently rediscovered the depth of my love of strawberry milk, I don’t understand how I ever forgot its absolutely fantastical deliciousness.  Now, I understand that the word “fantastical” is not just a cooler way to say “fantastic,” and that it in fact means more along the lines of “unreal” or “fanciful” than “great.”  And I still mean what I said.  Strawberry milk is fantastical.  It is unreal.  I still remember those days in kindergarten when I was allowed to buy a milk at snack time, and I was always super duper excited to grab that little pink milk carton out of the milk crate.  Granted, at that point in my life I also wanted to name my little sister Chrysanthemum, dressed myself in flowered t-shirts paired with flowered leggings, and still listened to Susie Burke and Wayne from Maine on cassette (look ‘em up, they’re both New England children’s singers I think), but still I think I was right on in terms of the milk thing.

I know chocolate milk is a more popular flavored milk than strawberry, but I encourage all ten of you reading this to give strawberry milk a chance.  You can try it no matter your diet/lifestyle.  You can get a powder-mix or syrup and add it to the milk of your choice, whether you go for milk from a cow or milk from an almond.  Some companies also make little juice boxes for milk, which are also awesome, though a bit more expensive.  In addition to the convenience of strawberry milk, it has a delightful flavor.  It evokes thoughts of summer, and happiness, and family barbeques.  How could you say no to a drink like that?

The only reason I can think of that someone wouldn’t try strawberry milk is because they don’t like happiness (or sweet things…but mostly happiness).  Let yourself live.  And give strawberry milk a try.

Take Me Out to the Ball Game...(and then please explain what the heck is going on...)

This post might sound cynical or overly sarcastic, but I promise that (most of) what I’m saying here is genuine. 

And on that note:  Can someone explain sports to me?

I mean really.  Can someone please explain them?  I understand the physical activity part.  Sports are a good workout and provide you with a goal outside of just trying to be fit.  I have also heard that they can be fun and provide a sense of community.  But outside of those easy-to-grasp aspects, I absolutely don’t understand sports. 

One of the questions I constantly struggle with is why they are interesting to watch.  Now, as someone who attended many youth association soccer games and found the nearby monkey bars much more entertaining, I just never really understood the appeal in sports viewership.  (The one exception I have to this is gymnastics- never ceases to amaze me).  But why do people enjoy watching sports?  I know when I when I watch things for the purpose of entertainment, whether it be a live performance or something on TV, I am usually intrigued by the story.  That’s what holds the entertainment value for me.  So where’s the story in sports?  Is the interest in the competition or displays of masculinity?  Keep in mind I’m really looking for the answers to these questions, this isn’t a list of rhetorical questions from a sports cynic.

Beyond just sports viewership, I also don’t really understand the regional attachment (aka obsession) and pride for sports teams.  For example, the Boston Bruins just won the (hold on while I Google the name of the hockey world series…) Stanley Cup, and everyone in this Boston-ish neck of the woods is pretty excited about that.  Although I’m not sure why.  I mean, more than half of the people on that hockey team were probably from Canada anyway.  So the pride and excitement is not because locals achieved something cool (like winning a trophy…), which would be my only guess and now I’m left just as confused as ever.  Why did everyone in New England freak out in 2004 and 2007 when the Red Sox won the World Series?  Did it mean something to them?  I mean, fans don’t do anything.  Cheering doesn’t help anyone win…so where does the sense of pride come from?

Please, I beg of sports fans everywhere- explain to me why sports are entertaining, and why fans feel proud when teams that they root for win…because I’m as lost as the Celtics in the Super Bowl…

(Me with a football trophy I didn't earn at all- I may not get sports, but I totally get trophies)

How to Make America a Better Place

There’s one simple thing that could easily improve the quality of life in America: everyone needs to adopt an accent from the UK.  I mean, how cool are their accents? (Although I’m still up in the air about Welsh…) My sister recently showed me some episodes of the British show Dr. Who, where the actors/characters have a variety of neat accents, and I realized that’s what America was missing- cool accents.  Sure, there are various and sundry accents found around the US, but none could really be considered “cool.”  Think about this for a moment- whenever some sort of American accent is used in a movie, it is almost always to mock the ridiculousness of it or create a caricature of the people with that particular accent.  People don’t use American accents in the media because they sound cool, they use them because they often sound silly.  Now UK accents- that’s a whole different story.  I mean, those are really cool.  Some sound intelligent, others just sound fun.  Half of them don’t even pronounce the letter “r,” and yet they still sound way smarter than any American.  People in America must have had British-ish accents at some point in US history, for a lot of Americans came to the colonies from England.  Unfortunately we the people decided to change everything from the side of the road we drive on to the spelling of "colour" and "favourite," and apparently the accents just had to change too.  Well, we won the war, but we lost the cool accents.  You win some, you lose some...  One that the British definitely won was representation in movies; for every movie in the English speaking world involving fantasy, history or royalty, regardless of the country in which it takes place, the accent of choice is usually British or Scottish.  And there’s a reason for that.  It’s because they sound frickin’ awesome.

I would just like to take this moment and thank everyone who has come to America from the UK (and Ireland- Irish accents rock too)- we appreciate the auditory contribution to our country.  And to all of the cool-accent-lacking Americans out there: let’s create an accent revolution, and make America a pleasant place to listen to.  And God Save the Queen.

The Trials of a Dysfunctional Baker

Not everyone can bake delicious treats.  For some of us, it can be difficult to follow even the simplest of directions on the back of a friendly-looking box full of a sugary mix.  Even though it appears to be broken down into 3 simple steps even a child could follow, there are still some of us out here who cannot seem to ever get it right.  For example, when the cake mix says to add 1 ¼ cups of water, ½ cup of butter and 3 eggs, someone who is bakingly-challenged may forget to add said water.  And this may result in a very puzzling situation where the batter keeps sticking to the mixers and clumping instead of actually mixing like it does when those who can actually bake do it.  And for those who happen to find themselves in this situation and realize their mistake after finally reviewing the box directions, they quickly learn that adding the water after the mixing has occurred is a little more difficult.  Let’s just say that cake batter is not discriminatory and will cover everything from the countertop to the cabinets to a kitchen chair…and will also get all over the unfortunate baker.  If, let’s just say for example that I may have done something like this…then I would have found cake batter all over me…like on my arm…my cheek…my nose…my other arm…BUT there is good news that can come out of a mistake.  For example, this particular cake got rave reviews from my family, and I was appointed to make the next cake too.  Which I also made quite well.  So bakingly-challenged folks- hold out hope.  Even when you forget the water, add twice as much butter, or accidentally omit the chocolate chips in chocolate chip cookies, it might turn out ok.  But I wouldn’t bet on it.

           

Very Important Side Note: Because cake means so much to me and my family (for my family it’s because cake is delicious and for me it’s because baking the cake takes at least 4 hours), we started a campaign to prevent the horrific damage that candles cause to cake.  So for everyone out there who has a birthday, anniversary, or graduation coming up, just hold the candles.  Hold the candles yourself, and save the cake.

(The picture features us holding the candles and the two cakes we saved, “birthday cake” and “another cake”)