Amazing Awkward Situations

This is just a list of awkward situations.  Some have happened to me.  Some haven't.  But the coolest thing about awkward situations is that they're great to laugh at, even if they did happen to you.  So the next time you find yourself in ones of these situations, or something even more awkward that only you could have managed- laugh.  Well, you might want to wait until you leave the situation or else you could compound the awkwardness, but anyway...do it.  Laughing at awkwardisities is great.  And rarely (though sometimes) awkward.

When you can’t figure out why your friend won’t get back to you about meeting out for dinner, I mean, you sent her a text about it at least 4 hours ago, right?  Oh wait, that text is still sitting in your outbox…it apparently never sent…whoops…

When you set your alarm for 7am in the morning- ‘cause you’ve got to get to that meeting before class starts, but when 8:30 rolls around and you get out of bed, you realize you totally missed your alarm, and your meeting.  And then you realize your alarm was set on silent…

When you pretend like you heard what someone said, but you really didn’t at all, and then halfway through the conversation you have to fess up. “Um, so sorry, but, uh, what exactly are we talking about again?...”

When you’re with a group of people and someone starts passing around a sign-up list for something you’re not really interested in.  And everyone else there is signing up.  So you grab the pen and the paper and start to maybe write your name and email address, but then just scribble it out and awkwardly pass it along hoping that everyone is still paying attention to the speaker addressing the group, and not your rejection of involvement in this group activity…

When you’re supposed to be meeting someone at a public place, like a café, and you get there about 5 minutes early.  And then they get there about 15 minutes late.  Leaving you to look like a Lonely McLoner for a good 20 minutes, looooong after your iced coffee has been consumed…

When you’re eating out with a friend and you both order the same thing.  They eat half of it…and you finish it…

When you can’t understand someone speaking English with a strong accent, and you ask them to repeat themselves at least 4 or 5 times, before you get so embarrassed that you forget about trying to get the free muffin with your hot chocolate…

When you don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, but don’t want to admit it and so head aggressively in the wrong direction until your feet feel like potatoes and/or your arms feel like noodles.  And when you finally ask someone it turns out you were just making a giant circle around where you were trying to go…

When you forget your keys and remember a second after the door closes behind you.  Then you have to knock on the door obnoxiously until your roommate wakes up and begrudgingly lets you in, hope that someone will be home later when you get back, or, climb in a window…

When you’re in public with your headphones in, rocking out to some of your favorite, slightly embarrassing, guilty pleasure music…and then you realize everyone around you can also hear your music.  Hopefully they understand that “Hakuna Matata” is a classic…

When someone friend-requests you on some form of social networking site and you don’t respond for months, and every time you run into them in public all you can think of is that you won’t publicly claim them as your internet acquaintance, and you’ve even accepted that random kid you always run into while grabbing coffee.  But I mean, no big deal, they probably don’t even remember they requested you…right?...

When there’s a long, frustrated, line behind you as get up to the counter to order, so you forget that question you were going to ask about the seasonal drink and just get your regular instead.  And then when you get your change back you just toss it in your bag instead of trying to organize it and risk the wrath of un-caffeinated people.  So you look like a fool and sound like a maraca…

When a motivational speaker/teacher/waiter asks the group a question, which you answer with great enthusiasm…and alone.  What?  You really did want to see a dessert menu…

When you take out a pack of gum to grab a piece and suddenly everyone asks if they can also indulge in your precious gum.  And then you lie straight to their faces and say it was the last piece.  And then you sink down into your chair as your face turns the same color as your definitely-not-last piece of cinnamon gum…

When you’re walking down the street, feeling like you own the place, and then you trip over a brick.  And do a quick check around to discover only 2 moms with strollers, 5 students, 3 couples, and 1 giant tour group saw you in your moment of preteen klutziness.  You try and justify the trip internally as you blame it on the masonry: what idiot back in 1706 thought that placing a brick like the sinking Titanic was conducive to walking?...

still awkward years later...

Inside My Head: Laundry Time!

Pack up the magenta laundry basket- light, dark, dark, striped light AND dark...hmmm, we'll wait on that one...  Top it all off with a towel (to keep underwear from falling on the street- duh), stumble out the door and down the stairs, then out the other door...and the other door...man, these doors are hard to open with the basket in my hands!  Stumble out the front door onto the sidewalk and pretend like the basket isn't heavy at all- I can totally handle it...probably.  Luckily the laundromat is a hop, skip and a jump away and the basket makes it there intact.  Does that kid go to my school?  Hmmm, he looks kind of familiar...oh right!  Got to put the laundry in the machine first, focus on one thing at a time.  Whoops!  Almost put the clothes in first- good thing they've got instructions on these old machines, otherwise  my clothes might have gotten themselves washed all wrong.  Alright, darks in one machine, lights in the other, detergent on the bottom, and now for the never-ending stream of quarters to make it go...  Laundry's in and getting clean, so it's time to take a seat.  Yep, that kid is definitely in one of my classes.  Does he recognize me?  I mean, my hair does look a bit ridiculous right now, but still...alright, he's definitely chosen to ignore me.  That's fine, at least there's no awkward small talk!  Guess I better get back to this textbook then, I won't look up 'til I'm done with this chapter- oh look!  Someone coming in to grab their clothes from the dryer, oh, they've got a mesh laundry-backpack, handy...back to the book.  Oh, and there's the kid who ignored me while playing the air drums, back from whatever mysterious excursion he decided to gone on for five minutes.  Finally!  The end of the chapter- time to check on the laundry...oh.  It's already finished.  That's awkward.  Hope no one saw me sitting here, waiting like an idiot for laundry that's already done.  Well, it's improbable they would have known that was my laundry...but still...kinda embarassing...anyway, time to move on to drying.  Two quarters should do the trick.  Or at least they better, because I'm too lazy to go over and get more.  High heat?...uh, sure, that'll probably do the trick.  Wow, done already?  That was faster than the washer for sure.  Oh...I see why...still damp...well, no matter.  I'll just hang 'em up to dry back at the apartment.  Don't feel like spending any more time here in that plastic yellow chair that keeps digging into my tailbone.  So, pack the clothes back into the laundry basket, don't drop the underwear on the floor...whoops...maybe this would work better with the basket on the floor...yeah, that works.  Towel goes back on top (don't want to drop any more undies), detergant goes in the side- whoa, that's heavier than anticipated.  Time to walk across the street and pretend it doesn't weigh a thing.  Ah...the door...prop the basket on my hip like a mother repositioning her 7-year-old who still insists on being carried, get the keys, turn the knob- and fall inside.  Repeat once more, then some stairs, then another door, and finally, back.  Adorn the apartment with clothes ranging from "I-laid-down-on-slightly-wet-grass" damp, to "I-went-outside-in-the-middle-of-a-deluge" damp.  Time for folding later when they're not so...damp.  Now, I need a cupcake.

The end of my laundry adventure.

Where my clothes ended up...

The Right Book Bag for You/Book Bags in a Nutshell or Two

The following is information about different types of book bags in a nutshell.  If you skip to the end of each section, you can find a smaller nutshell filled with less information about the book bag.  Imagine a peanut shell, with like a…let’s say a pistachio nutshell inside.  So if you want the pistachio nutshell amount of information, crack open the peanut.  Enjoy.

·      a backpack: Traditional, simple, straightforward.  This is pretty much always my recommendation.  It usually has a decent amount of pockets to hold essentials like post-it notes, extra folders, student ID, candy bars, etc.  It’s easy to keep organized and can hold a pretty good amount of stuff.  (Of which you have a lot as a student.)  Backpacks are easy to carry, come in enough colors and patterns to suit everyone’s needs and have a rich, two hundred year history (…that last bit might be made up.)  My only caution about using backpacks?  Careful when you’re wearing a skirt or a dress, there’s a tendency to ride up, and you don’t want to realize it after you’ve walked across the whole campus…I know…  In a smaller nutshell: Easy to use, easy to carry.

·      a messenger bag: Cool for middle school.  Or dudes.  Or people with laptops if it’s a classier one.  But I wouldn’t necessarily suggest it.  Messenger bags can be really painful for your shoulder and your side- also, you can develop a funny gait when you become accustomed to having 20 pounds of textbooks hanging over, and banging into, your left hip.  They often offer a decent amount of space, although in a sideways direction.  In a smaller nutshell: Organization usually about comparable to a backpack, cumbersome and painful to carry.

Indiana Jones & his satchel.  Nothing cooler.

·      a satchel: Dripping with coolness factor.  If you can find a satchel big enough to carry notebooks and textbooks, I would suggest this option.  Because satchels are the coolest, and everyone deserves to feel like Indiana Jones.  In a smaller nutshell: Probably impossible.

·      a giant tote bag: Mainstream with a touch of class.  A lot of college girls opt out of the whole “backpack” thing and go the more sophisticated route with a giant tote bag.  Look wise these are often very cute and classy.  They don’t quiet have the organizational capacity of a backpack, though some come close on space available.  One downside- you’ll have to keep switching shoulders, because we all know that Gen Chem textbook ain’t no featherweight.  In a smaller nutshell: Will probably get the job done, with a little bit of style.

·      a wheeled/rolling backpack: Hazardous, yet probably convenient.  These things are absolute nuisances!  I have been almost mowed down in hallways by these contraptions and their overly anxious owners.  I understand the desire for a wheeled backpack every time my back starts aching on the walk to school, but I have been hurt too often by these to ever give them a chance.  In a smaller nutshell: Only for youngin’s or older students trying to alienate themselves from their peers.  Or people with back problems.

·      sling backpacks/one-shouldered: Perfect for people with only one shoulder.  Besides that they’re a little small (because they’re like half a backpack), they’re shaped kind of like a Hershey’s Kiss (delicious but not practical), and they’re actually quite comfortable (because they’re only half a backpack).  In a smaller nutshell: Great for little things, like daytime hiking trips (only an example because I actually used one for that…), not so great for that giant Gen Chem book (really, why are you taking that class?)

If you have any questions about which book bag is really the right choice for you… then you should see a psychologist or something, because it really shouldn’t be that big a deal.  Really.  Just pick the first cool one you see at Staples or Wal-Mart or something, and then hope for the best.

Burritos- The Gift-Wrapped Food

I like to write about food a lot.  That’s because I talk about food a lot.  And that is because approximately 3 times a day I consume food- a lot.  Now for years I’ve run into the question “what’s your favorite food?” on random questionnaires, when playing getting-to-know-you games (sorry if the song from The King and I just popped into your head…whoops), or when someone wants to know what I’d like to eat.  Well, for everyone who I’ve told I didn’t have a favorite food, I have now settled down on something delicious and sometimes nutritious to call my number one.  And it’s burritos.

Burritos specifically are a food that I have engaged in a lot of discussion about.  Which is part of the reason I decided to officially declare them as my fav food.  Here’s the thing, if you think about it, burritos are the perfect food.  They’ve got several different food groups (vegetables, dairy, protein and grains), they taste delicious, and they’re packaged up all neatly, like a gift-wrapped meal.  How awesome is it to have all those amazing ingredients wrapped up so you can hold it in your hand?!  The answer is “very awesome" because 1) it alleviates mess 2) no utensils and 3) it’s gift-wrapped food! 

Burritos great for vegetarians (represent!), with an ample amount of protein in the beans, and for meat-eaters as well (as you can get just about any type of meat you’d like added, depending on the location).  Whether you make them yourself at home or order them out, burritos are customizable.  What, you don’t want the chunky salsa in your burrito?  Fine, it’s gone (although I’d recommend it- chunky salsa is delicious).  Oh, you want to add corn and guacamole?  Go ahead, the scrumptiousness has only increased exponentially.

Currently, I am surrounded by burrito places.  There is one near my apartment, and one by my school.  Needless to say, I plan on eating a copious amount of burritos this year.  I mean, come on, I did just officially declare them my favorite food, so I’ve got a right to eat a lot of them.  I encourage everyone to do the same, and since they can be customized to fit your diet, I see no reason why you shouldn’t at least give one a try.  (Except if you’re really allergic to a main ingredient, in which case I’m sorry for pumping you up about burritos just to let you down…still friends?)

BONUS TIP: Some burrito places have those delicious bottled sodas (Jarritos) – try one. 

If I Designed the World

- parks would have keyboards set up periodically throughout, so if anyone wanted to sit down and play a little song they could.  And grace the park with beautiful music.  And there'd be headphones if the music was...not so beautiful.
- there would be more girls bathrooms than boys in public places, because let's face it, girls have to go way more often, and it takes longer, to there's always a huge line.  This is necessary and should happen.
- street lamps would have clocks so everyone could know what time it was, even if they didn't have a watch or a phone.  It's just a nice to know the time sometimes.
- there would be more plugs and wifi/ethernet cords open to the public.  Just in case you've got to check for an important email or upload a document very quickly.  Not everyone has one of those fancy phones with internet and all sorts of other do-dads you know...
- pens would be the utensil of choice for writing, and provided in schools.  Kids would learn that it's okay to make a mistake, and just move on.
- everyone would get a chance to live in at least one different climate than their home one.  For example, someone from Canada could live in Egypt for a while, or someone from Florida could live in Russia.  Just to see a different kind of world.
- every field would be shoes optional, because no one should have to wear shoes in a beautiful grassy field.  Nothing feels cooler than running and skipping barefoot through a field.
- certain people would be appointed to give out delicious snacks to hungry people, or just people that want delicious snacks.  It would be totally safe, and totally delicious.
- public transportation would be available everywhere and would consist of monorails and sky cars, to make the world feel more like an amusement park.
- the whole world would have theme days, like pirate day or mismatch day, and it would be cool enough that at least 76% of the population would participate.  It would be accepted in the workplace, and only people trying to "rebel" wouldn't do it.

Tackling the Tough Question: When to Wear Socks?

Socks are a fascinating piece of clothing.  They are like little tubes of fabric that slide around your feet.  They are the clothing with the smallest surface area to be associated with warmth, comfort, snuggling, etc.  The mystery of socks is enough to confuse some people as to the appropriate occasions to wear them.  Following are several scenarios and the appropriateness of socks in each one.


WITH SNEAKERS

Totally appropriate.  When you wear sneakers you are often doing some sort of physical activity, which often involves sweating, and socks are extremely helpful in keeping your sneaks sweat-free.  Or at least they help your shoes not to stink so much.  This is probably the reason that socks were made.  Unless someone meant to make a sleeve and accidentally sewed up an end...but they were probably just made to accompany your shoes.


ON A COLD WINTERS DAY

Totally appropriate.  If socks weren't made accidentally from a sleeve, or to accompany your shoes, then they were definitely made to keep your little piggies warm on cold winter nights.  The best way to use socks in this situation is to wear those big fuzzy ones.  No-slip grip on the bottom is optional, the fuzzy part is the important part.  To add to the ambiance set by the warm, fuzzy socks, you might want to make some hot chocolate and popcorn, grab a snuggly blanket and turn on a rom-com or possible an action adventure.


ON THE BEACH

Never.  Never ever ever.  Why would you even consider socks on the beach?  Ew, ew, ew.  It's just gross.  Please don't wear sock on the beach.  ONLY exception: you're walking along the beach in sneakers or boots.  Besides that, don't even think about it.


ON VACATION

Sometimes.  It depends on the vacation.  A hiking adventure vacation warrants the use of socks.  A tropical beach vacation- no.  (For more information about socks on the beach see above.)  Use your discretion on this one- it can go either way.


WITH A DRESS

Probably not.  Unless you're super cool and can somehow pull off socks with a dress, I would recommend wearing ballet flats, sandals, heels; none of which require socks.  But if you're into rocking some converse with a dress and you've got the credibility to pull it off, then I guess you should go for it.  And I'm envious.


WITH SANDALS

Never.  'Nough said.


IN THE RAIN

Sometimes.  If you have rain boots I would suggest wearing socks with them.  And if you have colorful knee socks- even better.  Otherwise sandals sans socks is the best, 'cause sneakers with socks will leave the sneakers, socks and your feet cold and wet.


I hope this information helped clear up and sock questions that were out there.  Good luck and wear your socks well!

Just a Spoonful of Sugar...for Breakfast!

Nothing is better than a gallon of sugar for breakfast.  I could eat a candy bar first thing in the morning, and it is entirely possible that I have.  Here are some of my favorite breakfast treats:

Pop-tarts
Just finished one.  They're just so good.  My personal favorite is strawberry, but to be honest I haven't really had that many flavors.  I mean, why bother when you've already found perfection, right?  Pockets of sweetness, topped with frosting and sprinkles.  If you want to be healthy they make low-fat ones, or Fiber One pop-tarts, but come on guys, that's not really the point of pop-tarts.  Don't eat 'em for the nutrition, eat 'em for the fulfillment they bring to your life.

Sugar Cereal
This is a wide category including everything from Lucky Charms to Cap'n Crunch to Cookie Crisps (just to name a few favs).  Having my intake of sugary cereal limited to birthdays, special occasions and hotel continental breakfast buffets, I have developed a deep love and longing for those little bites of sugary goodness.  Pour them in a bowl with some cool milk or munch them up plain- either way they are totally delicious way to start the morning.  Bonus: sugar cereal also makes a great snack.

Muffins
One of my all time favorite foods, and there are so many delicious flavors.  Coffee cake (cross between coffee cake and muffin, and piled high with brown sugar), chocolate chip (simple but delicious), triple chocolate (chocolate muffin with chocolate chips, I have no clue where the third layer of chocolate is, but it sure tastes delectable), cranberry-orange nut (little bit of fruit, little bit of berry, little bit of crunch...so basically it's amazing).  I like basically every kind of muffin and eat them whenever I can.  The one complaint I have?  Why don't we just make/sell the tops of muffins?  We need more surface area people- it's the best part.  But besides that, muffins are perfection.

Waffles
My family got one of those waffle makers a few years back, and for a while there we all had waffle-mania.  We tried eating them with various and sundry toppings until we hit the jackpot- fruit and whipped cream.  Waffles with strawberries or blueberries and whipped cream is kind of how I'd imagine heaven to taste.  Another great thing about waffles is that they're so big you can eat them for breakfast and not be hungry again until dinner (or at least mid afternoon).  This is a great option to order out if you've got a sweet tooth; breakfast places make some great (and HUGE) Belgian waffles.  And never forget the whipped cream, that would be like forgetting the frosting on a cake and could be punishable by death.

Pastries
Sometimes, you just want a pastry.  They're real classic sweet tooth breakfast material.  There's also a sort of romantic notion of going into a small bakery early in the morning and grabbing some delicious, fresh treats.  My favorite bakery is Stanley's in East Islip, NY.  Everything I've ever eaten from there is totally scrumptious.  Which brings me to my favorite breakfast food of all time, which isn't even a breakfast food at all, ladies and gentlemen, let's give it up for...the black and white!  For anyone that doesn't know, a black and white is a circular cookie-cake thing, frosted half chocolate and half vanilla.  I have no clue how I ended up eating them for breakfast, but whenever my family stops by Stanley's I have to grab one.  A little warning- black and whites at the supermarket aren't really that good, so don't try it unless you can get one from a bakery.


I encourage you all to try starting your day on a good note with a sweet treat (unless you're one of those people who start gagging when they eat a lot of sugar in the morning, in which case you're exempt).  So what is you get a few cavities?  As long as you have health insurance and don't have a deadly fear of needles you should be okay.  Just give sugary breakfast a chance, and if you're anything like me you'll be hooked.