Tips for Pretending You're Not a Tourist (When You Are...)

For some reason, I am always afraid that when I’m traveling to new and different places people will think I’m a tourist.  I’m even afraid people will think I’m a tourist in my neck of the woods.  I think this fear comes from my own judgment of tourists when they’re wandering aimlessly around my home turf, in addition to an insecurity of seeming out of place.  Anyway, because of this I never want to appear as a tourist, even if I am.  These are some helpful hints to achieve a look of non-touristdom.

1.     Walk quickly.  Even if you don’t entirely know where you’re going, walk there very fast.  Locals always have a destination in mind, and they’re not going to stop and look at the old plaque on a building that a forgotten president once touched.  Dawdling, checking maps and stopping to ask directions mark you as a tourist as quickly as wearing an “I <3 NY” shirt or taking pictures of your sister pointing at a funny street sign will.  Speaking of which, that brings me to picture-taking…

2.     Don’t take pictures of landmarks.  No local finds a landmark interesting.  Also, they are probably not interesting anyway.  Take pictures of the people you’re with if you want memories- buildings, signs, and statues won’t bring back memories like a picture of your cousin trying to fit a whole slice of pizza into his mouth.  Side note: don’t wear your camera on a strap around your neck, unless you’re like a professional photographer and it looks cool.  The old camera-on-a-neck-strap is as stereotypically “tourist” as a Hawaiian shirt.

3.     Dress like you normally do.  Well, this doesn’t apply if you wear overalls or a pencil skirt everyday- just wear average clothes.  Dressing differently for a trip (not including something like the beach) is an easy way to stand out from the crowd.  Oh, and I don’t care how convenient it is, DON’T wear the fanny pack.  (I understand the draw- I had a Barney one myself as a youngster, but they’re gone for good, and I don’t think they’re ever coming back…)

4.     Plan ahead.  This is simple.  If you’re traveling somewhere that it rains a lot, bring a sensible rain jacket, and umbrella, and perhaps some boots.  Nobody wants to be the idiot running around with a garbage bag over their head because they didn’t know about the rain everyday at 4pm.  Tourists are often confused and somewhat disoriented by the strange land they find themselves in.  Just plan ahead and you’ll alleviate that awkward moment when you can’t get your rental car out of the parking spot because the local festival closed the road for the day…

5.     Lose the accent.  Try to neutralize any obvious regional accent as much as possible.  Unless it’s a cool foreign one.  In which case, use it to make yourself look cooler.

6.     Don’t travel in a giant group.  People don’t often take 15 of their closest friends with them when they’re on their way to work, or just walking down the street.  So you shouldn’t either.  No tour groups with a guide holding a little flag, and especially no matching outfits (See #3).

7.     Buy a caffeinated drink at a local coffee shop- not a brand name one like Starbucks or Dunkin’ Donuts, or whatever, but the one you see on the coffee cups people are carrying around.  Anyone can buy a Starbucks grande mocha-frappuchino-latte, but not everyone will know about the delicious fresh-mixed chai and cranberry scones at Not Your Average Café down the road.  Also, prominently display the logo on your coffee cup as you walk around so everyone knows that you know what’s hip in the neighborhood.

Overalls in NYC...You can see why I developed this fear...

The one other suggestion I can make is not to be afraid to be a tourist.  Embrace the newness of the situation and learn from wandering aimlessly and asking questions.  Don’t worry what others think about you, and focus on the memories you’re making from every moment you’re exploring.

But that’s mostly just poppycock- nobody really wants to live life without inhibitions.  Remember, leave the “Washington DC” sweatshirt in the hotel room, don’t stop to admire a view that might seem ordinary to locals, and strut your stuff like you were born on those streets.  ‘Cause what do those locals know?  Maybe you were…

Morning Reflections of Dew Drops

"...that particular chill that comes from getting up in the early morning.  The chill that must come from one's own bloodstream, for it comes in summer as well as winter, from some part inside of you that knows it is early morning." - From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler


This morning I woke up an hour earlier that I needed to, and so proceeded to grab my camera and head outside to capture the early morning.  There was a slight chill in the air, not cold enough for a jacket, but enough to make the air feel fresh and clear.

Everything was covered in dew, from the plants, to the grass, to the glass tables on our deck.  It's like the world hasn't woken up yet to shake off the cool mist that settled down overnight.

The dew covers everything like a blanket, making everything cool and clean before the summer sun comes down and warms the droplets straight back into the air.

The only movement in the still morning came from  a few birds twittering away in the trees, and this whimsical hummingbird in our garden which I spun in a circle.

The grass is wet, which feels good when you walk on it with bare feet.  Which is really the only way you should walk on grass early in the morning during the summer.

The dewy grass left my feet wet, and perfect for making footprints on my way back inside.

At this transition point in the day the sky was light, but down on the ground it was dark.  The sun was already up, though I couldn't seem to find it, but down at earth level everything had yet to come to life.  It was cool, dewy and still.


Every once it a while it is delightful to wake up early, and take that quiet, still time to yourself.  Of course, I wouldn't suggest getting up early every day, I'm not crazy you know.  But it can be nice to walk around and enjoy the world while the dew drops rest on the grass, and before the hustle and bustle of the day begins.

A Love Letter to Netflix

Dear Netflix,

            Thank you for always being there for me when I need you.  Well, as long as I can get my stupid wireless internet to work, you’re there.   I just want to take a moment to tell you how much I appreciate all facets of your being.

            First, your mail orders are efficient and quick.  Desired DVDs can be placed in the online queue whenever they strike ones fancy.  And the order can be adjusted so easily.  Like when someone realizes that watching Toy Story is way more important than watching The Social Network, they can just change the numbers by the titles or press “Top” button and voila!  Next thing they know they’re sitting with a box of Mike and Ikes watching Buzz Lightyear fall “with style.”  Within a few short days of moving ones desired movie to the top of the DVD queue, a beautiful red and white envelope shows up in the mailbox.  Once they’ve finished enjoying the film (which of course includes exhausting all available special features), the instructions on the envelope make it easy to seal back up and send back to the nearest Netflix center.  I assume these centers look something like heaven, with miles and miles of every DVD conceivable, just waiting for you to call their name and welcome them into your home.  Anyway, sometimes as quickly as 2 days after the last DVD was sent back, another red and white envelope greets an eager viewer when they open the mailbox, and the whole thing starts all over again.  It’s like the circle of life, only better.

            Of course, I haven’t even gotten to the instant streaming aspect of Netflix, which has got to be my favorite part.  It’s the most convenient way to catch up on TV shows, (although this can be hazardous when there are already six seasons and if someone hasn’t seen any of them yet…yeah, that’s a lot of hours…), and some people I know enjoy it more than actually watching television on the television.  It seems like the possibilities are endless with instant streaming, though that’s clearly not the case (because you can’t put every movie/TV show online at once…can you?...).  There are shows and movies from various and sundry decades and genres, something for everyone.  Netflix, you are everything and anything your loyal members want you to be, and I think I can speak for us all when I say we love you for that.  In addition to the wide variety of options, the convenience of instant streaming is spectacular.  It can be accessed on certain gaming devices or the computer, so viewing can be a family event or something to amuse oneself while folding laundry on the living room floor.  Which I have done.  Many a time.  As long as you’ve got internet and some sort of techno gadget, Netflix instant streaming is open for business.  Also, the ability to easily pause (space bar!) and continue watching after grabbing more popcorn, or after returning from work 8 hours later, shows your true loyalty.  No matter when we come back, you’re always waiting as though no time as gone by.

            Of course, you have your downsides (limited availability on new DVDs, buffering issues, and enabling addictions just to name a few), but I love you for who you are, and I never want you to change.  (Well, I wouldn’t mind it if you added more Pixar movies to the Watch Instantly section, but we can discuss that another time.)  I just want to reiterate that I appreciate you, and look forward to continuing this relationship until you are replaced by a newer, cheaper internet subscription service for movie and TV, or the world ends.

           

Yours truly,

                        Kimberly

A Discussion of Nostalgia using Berry Berry Kix

The other day my sisters went to Target with my mom and came back with a box of Berry Berry Kix.  Now, for those of you who don’t know, Berry Berry Kix is one of the most amazing breakfast cereals ever.  It has normal Kix in it, and also berry flavored Kix.  When I was younger, almost every time I went to my grandparents’ house and slept over, we would have Berry Berry Kix in the morning.  Back then the berry flavored Kix were actually shaped like berries, some pink and some purple.  My sisters and I would sit around the box and try to find all the matching twins on the back in the crowded mall scene.  The back of the box stayed the same for years, and we would always search eagerly to find the people we had found many times before.  When my sisters brought home a box the other day, we mourned over the fancy new box design which omitted the mall hide and seek, and the new cereal design which turned the berries into regular old spherical Kix.  But the smell remains the same.  As soon as I smelled the box, all those memories of sitting around the table, wearing one of my grandfather’s old t-shirts as pajamas, came flooding back.  It’s amazing the power that smell can have, especially because we can barely even describe smells to one another.  But one whiff of a familiar smell can take you back to when you were 6, and sitting around your grandparents’ table.

This Berry Berry Kix-induced nostalgia lead me to think back to more awesome memories of being a kid.  Summer is a great time to look back at awesome memories from when you were younger- even if they weren’t anything special at the time.  Like running to the ice cream truck with your siblings as it plays The Sting around the neighborhood, playing Cops and Robbers with your cousins in a small backyard, running through a sprinkler on a hot day and screaming every time the cold spray catches you by surprise, scootering up and down the driveway pretending that you’re going on grand adventures, sitting on rocks by a river and falling in- a little by accident and a little on purpose, and many, many barbeques with family or friends, running around with the kids while the grown-ups stay on the porch and chat.  I love thinking back to days like that, where you didn’t even know you were making memories, but you hear the ice cream truck song, or see a sprinkler spraying a lawn, or you smell a barbeque, and those fun moments come flooding back.  And just to think that in another 20-ish years I will have so many more memories to look back on fondly is exciting.  Because I know I’ve yet to make those memories, and sometimes making memories is just as fun as remembering.  But right now I think I’ll go have a big bowl of Berry Berry Kix.

An Ode to the (Low Temp) Hot Glue Gun

As a crafty sort of girl (referring to my fondness for making sock puppets and decoupage frames, not my wiliness), a low temp hot glue gun is sometimes my best friend.  Note that it’s the low temp one that I like, because I am far too clumsy to use the higher temp glue guns that really hurt when you burn yourself…which I do…all the time.  Anyway, I was using a glue gun the other day to piece together children’s costumes and I marveled at the glue gun’s amazingness.  I love it so much that if I was a superhero, my tool of choice would totally be a glue gun.  Listen, you could fix anything with it, and destroy villains with it too- it's a good choice.  Anyway, here’s my ode to the hot glue gun (as you will see, it is titled appropriately).

An Ode to the (Low Temp) Hot Glue Gun

O Glue Gun of a medium hot heat,

Thanks ever so much

For making crafts so easy,

And so fun.

Within seconds-

Something that seemed impossible

Is now a reality.

Because of you.

The Almighty (low temp) Glue Gun.

Although you burn my fingers,

I forgive you.

Because you were only doing your job

And I got in the way.

You can do anything.

Felt, fabric, feathers-

You make it work.

You’re there whenever I need you,

(As long as I can wait a minute for you to warm up),

And you’re always willing to help.

You have the power of a god,

And the qualities of a best friend.

O Glue Gun of a medium hot heat,

Thanks ever so much.

The Many Faces of My Hair

Very recently I cut my hair about 7 or 8 inches, which was pretty drastic for me.  I really like having short hair for summer, but one of the really weird things about this new cut is that everyday it looks different.  I take on a new style/personality/persona every time I roll out of bed.  (Well, actually, that’s not true, because usually when I roll out of bed it looks the same every morning- which mostly resembles morning hair from sitcoms).  

What my hair looks like in the morning...

But so far I’ve gone through a couple different looks, and feel like for some reason they are affecting my personality…which is weird.

Look #1: Meg Ryan.  This was what I looked like when I first got my hair cut, and also a few days after.  Mostly Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail, where she’s got that short, late 1990s/early 2000s, flippy thing going on.  That’s what I looked like.  Which I said about a million times.  As my sister kept reminding me.  I’ve also heard Reese Witherspoon in Sweet Home Alabama, but that’s pretty much the same short, early 2000s, flippy thing, so I count them in the same category.

Look #2: Indie.  I don’t know where this look came from, but the day after I got my hair cut it all of a sudden the top layers curved toward my head while the bottom layer flipped out.  I accidentally went indie for a day.  Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I am generally a very mainstream person, and I kept getting confused when I looked in the mirror that I was actually staring at my own reflection and not someone who wears ironic hair bows and listens to bands like “Drowning in the Window” or “Your Blue Shoe”.  (Which by the way, I clearly made up, so I apologize if I accidentally referenced a real band).

Look #3: Classic Bob.  This one was not so much an accident as very purposeful.  So, I can’t give my hair credit for this one.  But let’s be honest, if I was going to wait until my hair straightened itself, then I would be waiting until pigs fly (which, due to crazy technology stuff will probably be about 3 years, so I’d be waiting about 3 years for my hair to straighten, and that’s far too long).  So I straightened it myself, and realized that I pretty much had a classic bob hidden under the flippy/curly layers.  And since this is kind of what I was originally hoped for, I was pleased.

Look #4: Baby Pigtails.  Ok, this didn’t just happen either, but it’s still another of the many faces of my hair (…does that even make sense?)  It’s basically the only “up-do” I can do; two itty bitty baby pigtails.  And they’re so cute and teeny I feel like I’m in kindergarten again, although I never had baby pigtails when I was little, so I don’t know where these odd nostalgic feelings are coming from…

Baby pigtails + Patriotism

Look #5:  The Air Dry.  When I let my hair air dry it looks…well…mostly good.  Good enough that I absolutely intend to do absolutely nothing with my hair on a regular basis.  It ends up a little bit curly, a little bit flippy, and it’s good enough for me.

Don't mind the awkward faces, just look at the (awkward) hair

So, the message for all of you out there trying to decide whether to cut your hair short for the summer is…(drumroll please!)….[maybe] DO IT!  I mean, I would tell you straight out to do it, but then if it goes wrong I do not want to be blamed when you look like a pageboy, so…yeah.  (But my doubly-unofficial advice is go for it.  Because everything I say on this blog is unofficial anyway.) 

Side Note: Also, if you can donate your hair, do it.  Because then you get a cool haircut, AND you get do something for others.  I’ve done it twice and loved it.

At Last I See the Light: Why Adults Need to Give Children's Movies a Try

To all of the adults out there…well, actually, just anyone over the age of about 12 or 13, I need to tell you something really important.  Just because a movie is animated and appropriate for children to watch, doesn’t mean that the movie is exclusively for the enjoyment of children.  If you hold the view in life that these animated movies with G or PG ratings aren’t for you, then you are missing out my friend, on some wonderful stories.

This is not to say that all movies marketed toward children will be enjoyed by everyone.  There are many movies with silly dialogue, clearly dumbed down for children, and awkward slapstick scenes where everyone ends up covered in food or slime.  But this holds for mainstream movies- there are always a few “fun” and “goofy” films out that you might go see if your friend asked you to go see a movie with them, but for the most part you couldn’t care less about.  So if you’ve had a bad experience with one of these dumbed down movies, and feel that “children’s movies” will never capture your attention, please try again.  I’ll give you specific instructions on how to find a great children’s movie.

1) Watch the trailer before going to see the movie.  If it makes you laugh, makes you think, or makes you make a noise similar to when you see a cute baby or puppy, then go see it.  2) The greatest children’s movies are usually from Disney, Pixar, and sometimes Dreamworks.  You can count on these guys like you can count on your abacus.  (Actually, those are two totally different kinds of counting…and I doubt you have an abacus…but anyway, you can trust them to churn out something good).  3) The best combo for children’s movies (well, actually any movie really) is a little bit of smart and a little bit of heart.  Movies that don’t try and condescend to the assumed intelligence level and knowledge base of children are way more interesting for both children and adults.  The jokes are funnier, the plot more interesting, and the characters are more developed.  Also, those movies that go beyond the superficial jokes and include genuine stories that tug at your heartstrings are always worth watching.  If I cried in movie theaters (something that I prevent myself from doing for some, probably deeply psychological reason), then I would have cried at most of the children’s movies I’ve seen in the past couple of years: Kung Fu Panda 2 (even better than the first), Tangled (just absolutely amazing, new favorite Disney princess), Toy Story 3 (best conclusion to a trilogy.  Ever.), Despicable Me (cute, funny, and heartfelt), Up (the main character is an old man – How’d they do that? Genius.), How to Train Your Dragon (comedic gags and misty eyes), The Princess and the Frog (that music? Yeah, I’ve got the soundtrack…), the list continues for a while, so I won’t go through everything.

I know that everyone has different tastes, because everyone’s different, yadda yadda yadda, but I think there are a lot of people who write-off these amazing movies marketed to children, just because they are marketed to children.  Let me reiterate: just because a movie happens to be appropriate and/or animated, doesn’t mean that adults won’t enjoy it.  Just try watching a Pixar movie (Cars excluded- that’s mostly for little boys for some reason), and not enjoying it.  I’m telling you, they’ve got the jokes, they’ve got the characters, they’ve got the heart.  If you haven’t opened yourself up to children’s movies, there’s some great cinema that you’re missing.

(...Also, you can keep me company when I go to see these movies while I'm surrounded by children less than half my age.  'Cause I've got to admit, that part is a little bit awkward.)