1. Walk quickly. Even if you don’t entirely know where you’re going, walk there very fast. Locals always have a destination in mind, and they’re not going to stop and look at the old plaque on a building that a forgotten president once touched. Dawdling, checking maps and stopping to ask directions mark you as a tourist as quickly as wearing an “I <3 NY” shirt or taking pictures of your sister pointing at a funny street sign will. Speaking of which, that brings me to picture-taking…
2. Don’t take pictures of landmarks. No local finds a landmark interesting. Also, they are probably not interesting anyway. Take pictures of the people you’re with if you want memories- buildings, signs, and statues won’t bring back memories like a picture of your cousin trying to fit a whole slice of pizza into his mouth. Side note: don’t wear your camera on a strap around your neck, unless you’re like a professional photographer and it looks cool. The old camera-on-a-neck-strap is as stereotypically “tourist” as a Hawaiian shirt.
3. Dress like you normally do. Well, this doesn’t apply if you wear overalls or a pencil skirt everyday- just wear average clothes. Dressing differently for a trip (not including something like the beach) is an easy way to stand out from the crowd. Oh, and I don’t care how convenient it is, DON’T wear the fanny pack. (I understand the draw- I had a Barney one myself as a youngster, but they’re gone for good, and I don’t think they’re ever coming back…)
4. Plan ahead. This is simple. If you’re traveling somewhere that it rains a lot, bring a sensible rain jacket, and umbrella, and perhaps some boots. Nobody wants to be the idiot running around with a garbage bag over their head because they didn’t know about the rain everyday at 4pm. Tourists are often confused and somewhat disoriented by the strange land they find themselves in. Just plan ahead and you’ll alleviate that awkward moment when you can’t get your rental car out of the parking spot because the local festival closed the road for the day…
5. Lose the accent. Try to neutralize any obvious regional accent as much as possible. Unless it’s a cool foreign one. In which case, use it to make yourself look cooler.
6. Don’t travel in a giant group. People don’t often take 15 of their closest friends with them when they’re on their way to work, or just walking down the street. So you shouldn’t either. No tour groups with a guide holding a little flag, and especially no matching outfits (See #3).
7. Buy a caffeinated drink at a local coffee shop- not a brand name one like Starbucks or Dunkin’ Donuts, or whatever, but the one you see on the coffee cups people are carrying around. Anyone can buy a Starbucks grande mocha-frappuchino-latte, but not everyone will know about the delicious fresh-mixed chai and cranberry scones at Not Your Average Café down the road. Also, prominently display the logo on your coffee cup as you walk around so everyone knows that you know what’s hip in the neighborhood.
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| Overalls in NYC...You can see why I developed this fear... |
The one other suggestion I can make is not to be afraid to be a tourist. Embrace the newness of the situation and learn from wandering aimlessly and asking questions. Don’t worry what others think about you, and focus on the memories you’re making from every moment you’re exploring.
But that’s mostly just poppycock- nobody really wants to live life without inhibitions. Remember, leave the “Washington DC” sweatshirt in the hotel room, don’t stop to admire a view that might seem ordinary to locals, and strut your stuff like you were born on those streets. ‘Cause what do those locals know? Maybe you were…
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