How I Met Your Mother: "Ducky Tie" Recap

“Ducky Tie”

Lily triumphs after distracting Barney

Like every episode of How I Met Your Mother, “Ducky Tie” played with time, bouncing back and forth between the gang out for dinner and Ted’s night playing dishwasher for Victoria.  Most of the comments at dinner revolved around Lily’s pregnancy boobs and most of the Victoria-Ted conversation focused on what could have been, and why it wasn’t.

            The gang started at the bar, as per usual, and after spending the whole cold open commenting on/getting distracted by Lily’s pregnancy boobs, they decide to head out to the hibachi grill.  Well, everyone except Barney who only acquiesces when he couldn’t NOT look at Lily’s boobs for 10 seconds.  And yes, Lily’s boobs are a big focus of the episode.  Pun kind of intended.

At the hibachi restaurant Barney mocks the chef performing the “dinner-tainment” (Marshall’s term), resulting in a bet that he can’t do all the little tricks that the hibachi chef can do.  The terms?  Barney can hold both of Lily’s boobs for a minute if he wins (and one squeeze), and has to wear Marshall’s garish and titular ducky tie for a year, should he lose.  This episode features Lily’s superb negotiation skills, stemming from her experience as Slap Bet Commissioner for the past several years.  As the dinner continues Marshall realizes that Barney has conducted a sort of Pavlov’s dogs experiment with him, sneezing every time he mentioned the restaurant until a sneeze from Barney could trigger the thought.  Barney laid his plan ages ago, just waiting until he wanted something from Marshall.  For this reason Barney had also taken six months of hibachi training at a school in Hoboken.  Although, when Barney offers to let Lily out of the bet for just a 30 second peek at her boobs in the alley (yep, just as sketchy as it sounds), Marshall begins to suspect that’s what he wanted all along and that Barney does not, in fact, possess hibachi skills.  Between the gang putting together Barney’s sneaky plan, Robin and Ted tell the story of Victoria: The Return.

            In the last episode, “The Naked Truth,” Ted bumped into Victoria at the Architect’s Ball where she was providing the cupcakes.  Ted tells the gang how cool, calm and collected he was when he saw her, while Robin recounts him bumbling around like Charlie Chaplin’s The Tramp.  That is until Robin comes in and saves the day!...by reminding Victoria how she stole her boyfriend and then making a noticeably awkward exit.  Ted still feels guilt over cheating on Victoria, and offers to head back to her bakery and wash her dishes.  As they talk about the old times, and the gang senses a good night was had by all (even bringing back the bang song, “bang, bang, bangity bang….etc.), Victoria reveals she’s going to get married.  Well, no, she’s technically not engaged yet, but she found the ring in the sock drawer.  Yep, her finance-to-be has a drawer entirely dedicated to socks, and Ted’s both impressed and envious.  After a little bit of wordplay with Victoria getting close to Klaus from her class, Ted and Victoria lean in for the drumroll/pre-kiss moment…but then actually kiss.  They both quickly acknowledge that the kiss shouldn’t have happened, and Ted brings Victoria to her bus, to watch her leave again.  He asks her what she thinks would have happened if he stopped her from getting on that plane to Germany, or if he got on it with her, but when she asks if he really wants to know, he doesn’t press it.  They say goodbye and Victoria boards the bus.

            Back at the restaurant everyone finds out that Barney does, in fact, know all the tricks, even the onion volcano.  But as he goes for the “Shrimp in the Pocket” trick, Lily pulls out her secret weapon...or, ah, “weapons.”  Barney, due to the distraction, misses the shrimp.  As the gang ends up back at MacLaren’s, Barney gets stuck with the ducky tie.  Lily and Marshall leave, “quacking” jokes about they tie as they go, and Ted, Robin and Barney remain in the booth.  Ted reveals to his kids what actually happened as he said goodbye to Victoria, how she told him that Robin got in the way, of not only their relationship, but all of the relationships of the past six years.  Victoria warned Ted that the thing with him, Robin and Barney wasn’t working, and future Ted confirms that she was right, they just didn’t know it yet.

Well, if they first three episode are any indication, it looks like Marshall’s right, it’s gonna be a good year…

Quotes:

“Wow, you guys make it seem like I’ve dated a series of Stieg Larson novels.” -

“Lily, it’s like you have a butt on your chest.” -Ted

“I’m sorry pal, but the party going on in my wife’s sweater is a private event, and I’m the bouncer” (Marshall) “I think they’s the bouncers”- Robin, telling it like it is

“Oh, that reminds me, there’s this other restaurant we should try some time.  What they do is, they cook your meal, in a lil room called the kitchen.  What’s the name of tha- oh yeah, every other restaurant in New York City.” -Barney’s not in the mood for hibachi, again.

“Victoria, do you believe in fate?” (Ted) “I believe you’re about to give a big speech on fate-” (Victoria) “-Well I do.” -Ted, finally getting his belief back, and Victoria bracing for a Ted lecture…

“Lily!  Are you really suggesting that Barney spent six months commuting back and forth to Hoboken, to learn a signature cooking style of a restaurant he doesn’t even like, so he could win a bet he hadn’t even made yet?...Yeah, the whole thing stinks.” -Robin

“I let you wash my dishes! I said my oven needed cleaning!  I invited you to a porno!” -Victoria after the drumroll moment leads to a kiss

“I can think of one thing that’ll stop him.  Actually two things…” -Lily, about to whip out her secret weapons

Fun Lil Tidbits:

-       Barney’s really into hashtags now, ex. #burn #ducktieslams #stinsonrocks

-       The gang trying to guess which woman from Ted’s past he ran into- check out the promo clip (it’s extended) and see which women you remember http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLtu7UV8OUs

-       Victoria’s back!  Even though it appears to be just for this one episode, it’s nice to see one of Ted’s long lost girlfriends pop back up, and make him evaluate what he might be doing wrong.

-       Also, the bang song is back, which is so great I had to mention it twice.  Here’s a link to a clip of the original http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9d6f9j7gAdY

Amazing Awkward Situations

This is just a list of awkward situations.  Some have happened to me.  Some haven't.  But the coolest thing about awkward situations is that they're great to laugh at, even if they did happen to you.  So the next time you find yourself in ones of these situations, or something even more awkward that only you could have managed- laugh.  Well, you might want to wait until you leave the situation or else you could compound the awkwardness, but anyway...do it.  Laughing at awkwardisities is great.  And rarely (though sometimes) awkward.

When you can’t figure out why your friend won’t get back to you about meeting out for dinner, I mean, you sent her a text about it at least 4 hours ago, right?  Oh wait, that text is still sitting in your outbox…it apparently never sent…whoops…

When you set your alarm for 7am in the morning- ‘cause you’ve got to get to that meeting before class starts, but when 8:30 rolls around and you get out of bed, you realize you totally missed your alarm, and your meeting.  And then you realize your alarm was set on silent…

When you pretend like you heard what someone said, but you really didn’t at all, and then halfway through the conversation you have to fess up. “Um, so sorry, but, uh, what exactly are we talking about again?...”

When you’re with a group of people and someone starts passing around a sign-up list for something you’re not really interested in.  And everyone else there is signing up.  So you grab the pen and the paper and start to maybe write your name and email address, but then just scribble it out and awkwardly pass it along hoping that everyone is still paying attention to the speaker addressing the group, and not your rejection of involvement in this group activity…

When you’re supposed to be meeting someone at a public place, like a café, and you get there about 5 minutes early.  And then they get there about 15 minutes late.  Leaving you to look like a Lonely McLoner for a good 20 minutes, looooong after your iced coffee has been consumed…

When you’re eating out with a friend and you both order the same thing.  They eat half of it…and you finish it…

When you can’t understand someone speaking English with a strong accent, and you ask them to repeat themselves at least 4 or 5 times, before you get so embarrassed that you forget about trying to get the free muffin with your hot chocolate…

When you don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, but don’t want to admit it and so head aggressively in the wrong direction until your feet feel like potatoes and/or your arms feel like noodles.  And when you finally ask someone it turns out you were just making a giant circle around where you were trying to go…

When you forget your keys and remember a second after the door closes behind you.  Then you have to knock on the door obnoxiously until your roommate wakes up and begrudgingly lets you in, hope that someone will be home later when you get back, or, climb in a window…

When you’re in public with your headphones in, rocking out to some of your favorite, slightly embarrassing, guilty pleasure music…and then you realize everyone around you can also hear your music.  Hopefully they understand that “Hakuna Matata” is a classic…

When someone friend-requests you on some form of social networking site and you don’t respond for months, and every time you run into them in public all you can think of is that you won’t publicly claim them as your internet acquaintance, and you’ve even accepted that random kid you always run into while grabbing coffee.  But I mean, no big deal, they probably don’t even remember they requested you…right?...

When there’s a long, frustrated, line behind you as get up to the counter to order, so you forget that question you were going to ask about the seasonal drink and just get your regular instead.  And then when you get your change back you just toss it in your bag instead of trying to organize it and risk the wrath of un-caffeinated people.  So you look like a fool and sound like a maraca…

When a motivational speaker/teacher/waiter asks the group a question, which you answer with great enthusiasm…and alone.  What?  You really did want to see a dessert menu…

When you take out a pack of gum to grab a piece and suddenly everyone asks if they can also indulge in your precious gum.  And then you lie straight to their faces and say it was the last piece.  And then you sink down into your chair as your face turns the same color as your definitely-not-last piece of cinnamon gum…

When you’re walking down the street, feeling like you own the place, and then you trip over a brick.  And do a quick check around to discover only 2 moms with strollers, 5 students, 3 couples, and 1 giant tour group saw you in your moment of preteen klutziness.  You try and justify the trip internally as you blame it on the masonry: what idiot back in 1706 thought that placing a brick like the sinking Titanic was conducive to walking?...

still awkward years later...

Inside My Head: Laundry Time!

Pack up the magenta laundry basket- light, dark, dark, striped light AND dark...hmmm, we'll wait on that one...  Top it all off with a towel (to keep underwear from falling on the street- duh), stumble out the door and down the stairs, then out the other door...and the other door...man, these doors are hard to open with the basket in my hands!  Stumble out the front door onto the sidewalk and pretend like the basket isn't heavy at all- I can totally handle it...probably.  Luckily the laundromat is a hop, skip and a jump away and the basket makes it there intact.  Does that kid go to my school?  Hmmm, he looks kind of familiar...oh right!  Got to put the laundry in the machine first, focus on one thing at a time.  Whoops!  Almost put the clothes in first- good thing they've got instructions on these old machines, otherwise  my clothes might have gotten themselves washed all wrong.  Alright, darks in one machine, lights in the other, detergent on the bottom, and now for the never-ending stream of quarters to make it go...  Laundry's in and getting clean, so it's time to take a seat.  Yep, that kid is definitely in one of my classes.  Does he recognize me?  I mean, my hair does look a bit ridiculous right now, but still...alright, he's definitely chosen to ignore me.  That's fine, at least there's no awkward small talk!  Guess I better get back to this textbook then, I won't look up 'til I'm done with this chapter- oh look!  Someone coming in to grab their clothes from the dryer, oh, they've got a mesh laundry-backpack, handy...back to the book.  Oh, and there's the kid who ignored me while playing the air drums, back from whatever mysterious excursion he decided to gone on for five minutes.  Finally!  The end of the chapter- time to check on the laundry...oh.  It's already finished.  That's awkward.  Hope no one saw me sitting here, waiting like an idiot for laundry that's already done.  Well, it's improbable they would have known that was my laundry...but still...kinda embarassing...anyway, time to move on to drying.  Two quarters should do the trick.  Or at least they better, because I'm too lazy to go over and get more.  High heat?...uh, sure, that'll probably do the trick.  Wow, done already?  That was faster than the washer for sure.  Oh...I see why...still damp...well, no matter.  I'll just hang 'em up to dry back at the apartment.  Don't feel like spending any more time here in that plastic yellow chair that keeps digging into my tailbone.  So, pack the clothes back into the laundry basket, don't drop the underwear on the floor...whoops...maybe this would work better with the basket on the floor...yeah, that works.  Towel goes back on top (don't want to drop any more undies), detergant goes in the side- whoa, that's heavier than anticipated.  Time to walk across the street and pretend it doesn't weigh a thing.  Ah...the door...prop the basket on my hip like a mother repositioning her 7-year-old who still insists on being carried, get the keys, turn the knob- and fall inside.  Repeat once more, then some stairs, then another door, and finally, back.  Adorn the apartment with clothes ranging from "I-laid-down-on-slightly-wet-grass" damp, to "I-went-outside-in-the-middle-of-a-deluge" damp.  Time for folding later when they're not so...damp.  Now, I need a cupcake.

The end of my laundry adventure.

Where my clothes ended up...

The Right Book Bag for You/Book Bags in a Nutshell or Two

The following is information about different types of book bags in a nutshell.  If you skip to the end of each section, you can find a smaller nutshell filled with less information about the book bag.  Imagine a peanut shell, with like a…let’s say a pistachio nutshell inside.  So if you want the pistachio nutshell amount of information, crack open the peanut.  Enjoy.

·      a backpack: Traditional, simple, straightforward.  This is pretty much always my recommendation.  It usually has a decent amount of pockets to hold essentials like post-it notes, extra folders, student ID, candy bars, etc.  It’s easy to keep organized and can hold a pretty good amount of stuff.  (Of which you have a lot as a student.)  Backpacks are easy to carry, come in enough colors and patterns to suit everyone’s needs and have a rich, two hundred year history (…that last bit might be made up.)  My only caution about using backpacks?  Careful when you’re wearing a skirt or a dress, there’s a tendency to ride up, and you don’t want to realize it after you’ve walked across the whole campus…I know…  In a smaller nutshell: Easy to use, easy to carry.

·      a messenger bag: Cool for middle school.  Or dudes.  Or people with laptops if it’s a classier one.  But I wouldn’t necessarily suggest it.  Messenger bags can be really painful for your shoulder and your side- also, you can develop a funny gait when you become accustomed to having 20 pounds of textbooks hanging over, and banging into, your left hip.  They often offer a decent amount of space, although in a sideways direction.  In a smaller nutshell: Organization usually about comparable to a backpack, cumbersome and painful to carry.

Indiana Jones & his satchel.  Nothing cooler.

·      a satchel: Dripping with coolness factor.  If you can find a satchel big enough to carry notebooks and textbooks, I would suggest this option.  Because satchels are the coolest, and everyone deserves to feel like Indiana Jones.  In a smaller nutshell: Probably impossible.

·      a giant tote bag: Mainstream with a touch of class.  A lot of college girls opt out of the whole “backpack” thing and go the more sophisticated route with a giant tote bag.  Look wise these are often very cute and classy.  They don’t quiet have the organizational capacity of a backpack, though some come close on space available.  One downside- you’ll have to keep switching shoulders, because we all know that Gen Chem textbook ain’t no featherweight.  In a smaller nutshell: Will probably get the job done, with a little bit of style.

·      a wheeled/rolling backpack: Hazardous, yet probably convenient.  These things are absolute nuisances!  I have been almost mowed down in hallways by these contraptions and their overly anxious owners.  I understand the desire for a wheeled backpack every time my back starts aching on the walk to school, but I have been hurt too often by these to ever give them a chance.  In a smaller nutshell: Only for youngin’s or older students trying to alienate themselves from their peers.  Or people with back problems.

·      sling backpacks/one-shouldered: Perfect for people with only one shoulder.  Besides that they’re a little small (because they’re like half a backpack), they’re shaped kind of like a Hershey’s Kiss (delicious but not practical), and they’re actually quite comfortable (because they’re only half a backpack).  In a smaller nutshell: Great for little things, like daytime hiking trips (only an example because I actually used one for that…), not so great for that giant Gen Chem book (really, why are you taking that class?)

If you have any questions about which book bag is really the right choice for you… then you should see a psychologist or something, because it really shouldn’t be that big a deal.  Really.  Just pick the first cool one you see at Staples or Wal-Mart or something, and then hope for the best.

Burritos- The Gift-Wrapped Food

I like to write about food a lot.  That’s because I talk about food a lot.  And that is because approximately 3 times a day I consume food- a lot.  Now for years I’ve run into the question “what’s your favorite food?” on random questionnaires, when playing getting-to-know-you games (sorry if the song from The King and I just popped into your head…whoops), or when someone wants to know what I’d like to eat.  Well, for everyone who I’ve told I didn’t have a favorite food, I have now settled down on something delicious and sometimes nutritious to call my number one.  And it’s burritos.

Burritos specifically are a food that I have engaged in a lot of discussion about.  Which is part of the reason I decided to officially declare them as my fav food.  Here’s the thing, if you think about it, burritos are the perfect food.  They’ve got several different food groups (vegetables, dairy, protein and grains), they taste delicious, and they’re packaged up all neatly, like a gift-wrapped meal.  How awesome is it to have all those amazing ingredients wrapped up so you can hold it in your hand?!  The answer is “very awesome" because 1) it alleviates mess 2) no utensils and 3) it’s gift-wrapped food! 

Burritos great for vegetarians (represent!), with an ample amount of protein in the beans, and for meat-eaters as well (as you can get just about any type of meat you’d like added, depending on the location).  Whether you make them yourself at home or order them out, burritos are customizable.  What, you don’t want the chunky salsa in your burrito?  Fine, it’s gone (although I’d recommend it- chunky salsa is delicious).  Oh, you want to add corn and guacamole?  Go ahead, the scrumptiousness has only increased exponentially.

Currently, I am surrounded by burrito places.  There is one near my apartment, and one by my school.  Needless to say, I plan on eating a copious amount of burritos this year.  I mean, come on, I did just officially declare them my favorite food, so I’ve got a right to eat a lot of them.  I encourage everyone to do the same, and since they can be customized to fit your diet, I see no reason why you shouldn’t at least give one a try.  (Except if you’re really allergic to a main ingredient, in which case I’m sorry for pumping you up about burritos just to let you down…still friends?)

BONUS TIP: Some burrito places have those delicious bottled sodas (Jarritos) – try one.