How to Deal with Post Television Series Finale Disorder (PTSFD)

As this season of television winds to a close, there will be some shows that take their final bow, and leave their loyal audiences staring, stunned, at their blank television sets.  It can be a traumatic experience to say goodbye to a show that has been with you through two couches, your bad haircut, your bad breakup, your discovery of your new favorite ice cream flavor, and your guaranteed-to-be-regretable-in-10-years name change.  It is normal to struggle with the transition from seeing a television show on a regular basis to never seeing new episodes again.

If you are experiencing any of the following symptoms, you may be suffering from PTSFD.  Please read on for help.

-       Staring at your black TV screen, waiting for something to appear

-       Tuning into the channel where you normally watch your show, only to find strange people on the screen

-       Inability to think about something other than the series that ended

-       Disinterest in personal hygiene (NOTE: if you are struggling with this, you may have a more serious issue than PTSFD - please, for the sake of everyone around you, find help elsewhere.  My only advice is to take a shower.  Please.)

-       Listlessness (NOTE: Again, this could be a symptom of a lot of things.  Like accidentally drugging yourself with cough syrup or just being a dull person.)

-       Listening to your show’s theme song on an endless loop

-       Desire to rewatch entire series, regardless of the number of seasons (NOTE: if the series in question has 8+ seasons, please arrange for an intervention for yourself.  Rewatching could take up 170+ hours of your life.)

-       Only speaking in quotes from your show

-       Refusing to go outside (NOTE: Again, this may actually be something completely different, like agoraphobia or something- I can offer no actual medical help.  Except if you need a Band-Aid or ibuprofen or something.  But that’s it.)

If the above symptoms apply to you, it is very possible that you are suffering from Post Television Series Finale Disorder, also known as PTSFD.  Sometimes you may experience the sensation that the series is only done for the season, and that surely next fall it will return with the characters you know and love- but this is NOT TRUE.  You have to face the facts in order to move on with your life.

Steps to Recovery from PTSFD

Follow these simple steps, which you can remember by the helpful acronym RTIHOH.

(NOTE: these steps are applicable to those recovering from a recently aired finale- for those experiencing symptoms from a show no longer on the air, please see Modified Steps below)

1.     REWATCH - Rewatch the finale as many times as you need in order to get a feeling of closure from the story.  If it was an unplanned finale and you are left with a giant cliffhanger, this may not be the best course of action to take, as it will only make you more upset.  In the case of the latter situation, find your favorite episode of the series, and rewatch that instead.  Also, listen to the end song (as there is always some sort of melancholy/emotional/togetherness sort of end song) over and over again.  Sure, you might drive everyone around you crazy, but at least you’ll get to work through those feelings of loss you are struggling with.

2.     TALK - You have to talk to someone about all the feelings you’re experiencing.  It doesn’t really matter who you talk to- a stranger named ThisShowIsMyLife643 on a chat room (although if you do talk to them, don’t give them personal info, I mean, this isn’t the year 2000 anymore, we all know about internet safety), your family, or your roommate who has never seen nor heard of the show.  Talk to anyone about it.  Just let your feelings out, explain your sadness that those two will never end up together, even though they were clearly soul mates, or your excitement that those two finally ended up together, and they’re clearly soul mates.  Although not everyone you talk to will have seen the show, the good news is someone will eventually get so upset that you won’t shut up, that they’ll tell you it was just a show, and none of it was real.  And while that may hurt, it’s true.  So move on.

3.     IMAGINE - Ever heard of fan fiction?  Yeah, it’s a weird thing…but it can be helpful to your recovery process.  No, I wouldn’t advise you to go read other people’s fan fics- from what I’ve heard they can be…well, they’re mostly weird.  What is helpful to your PTSFD recovery process is imagining what happens after the finale.  That’s right- no one is telling the story for you anymore, so if you want to imagine there is a happy ending, nothing is telling you otherwise.  It’s not an ideal situation, but visualization has been known to help athletes with that sports stuff and whatnot, and it can also help you to move beyond the sudden disconnect from the characters you’ve grown attached to.

4.     HOLD OUT HOPE - It is never too late to pray for the return of your favorite show, or the possibility of a movie.  Look at Arrested Development.  It’s making its grand return with a batch of new episodes to be released online next year (on Netflix- yay Netflix!), followed by an Arrested Development movie.  This show’s been off the air for double the time it was on the air, and yet it’s making a comeback.  Arrested Development renews the hope for everyone that it is possible to see a return of the characters that disappeared from your TV screen one May, many moons ago.  So try to move on from the characters you love, but if you can’t, hold out hope that someone, somewhere, with a lot of money to throw around, is willing to reincarnate the show you just can’t live without.

Modified Steps for Previously Aired Shows

If you’re experiencing the symptoms of PTSFD after watching a show that originally aired years earlier, there are different steps you can take to aid in your recovery process. (Acronym: TRRRD)

1.     TALK - You finally have the opportunity to talk about this show to your friend that begged you to watch it five years ago and you had no clue what they were talking about, but now you finally get it and you really want to discuss every detail with them.  Be forewarned- they may be less receptive to this discussion now that they’ve finally dealt with the end of the show, and they may not want to reopen that painful wound again.  However, if you communicate your need for your own series-closure, they may be willing to talk.  It’s also possible that they’ve never really recovered from their own experience.  (For example, the wound is still fresh on my Veronica Mars experience- how could it end like that?!   Sorry, moving on…)

2.     READ - Go online and read old articles about the show, if you can dig them out of the dark crevices of the internet.  It will help you realize that all the people that wrote those articles have (mostly likely) found a way to move on, have found newer and shinier shows to review, and no longer need to tune in each [insert day of the week here] night for their [insert show name here] fix.  Just looking at examples of how other people dealt with the end and moved on can give you hope that maybe you too will be able to, one day, do the same.

3.     RAVE/RANT - Good news!  You have the ability to rant or rave about the show as much as you want.  You can post your favorite quotes or pictures on Facebook, you can yell down the street your frustration that Sam and Diane didn’t end up together t- it doesn’t matter what you do, because everyone has already seen the show, or they don’t care about it and will never see it.  You can’t be accused of spoiling the show for those who are trying to catch up, because if they didn’t want to know what happened ahead of time, they shouldn’t have waited so long to watch it.  (NOTE: Sorry if I spoiled the end of Cheers for you, but honestly, that was 20 years ago, so…that’s on you.)

4.     DISCOVER - Find a new show.  Maybe it’s another old series that everyone has seen but you (The Wire, Friends, Will & Grace, Seinfeld, The Sopranos, Hill Street Blues, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, West Wing, and a whole lot more).  Explore new television stories, new characters, new settings.  Find the next projects that the writers or actors went on to do, and then watch those.  There’s plenty of other TV, new and old, out there to explore.  Just try to avoid watching a show that’s just about to end- then you may start to spiral even further in your PTSFD.

For those struggling with PTSFD, this can be a difficult time.  Please reach out to your loved ones for further assistance as you come to terms with the fact that the series you watched is completely over (minus syndication and/or the possibility of a reboot).  For those struggling with the end of a season of television, please keep in mind that others are trying to cope with a much greater loss, and support them through this time.  Just remember RTIHOH or TRRRD, depending on your form of PTSFD, and the steps will help you cope.

Also, another cure for PTSFD is doing other things, such as reading a book or going outside.  But only try those if you’re really desperate.

Comedy Night or Why I’m Glad NBC’s in Last Place (The CW doesn’t count, obviously)

There’s nothing like failure to light a fire under the [CENSORED BY STANDARDS & PRACTICES] of network executives.  When you’re in last place, you really have nothing to lose.  In a race, for example, the person in last place might pull out the old Bullet Bill as a Hail Mary pass- of course by a race I mean Mario Kart, what else would I be talking about?

NBC is in last place in the networks rating game.  (Because we’re not counting the CW.  Let’s get that straight.)  This is good for two reasons.  First reason being that everybody likes an underdog.  And everybody likes Underdog, (though there is considerable debate about whether there were any merits to the live-action version).  Second reason is that NBC has shows that nobody else would bother to keep.  Their ratings are so low that they’ll still show programs like Community and the late Chuck, when other networks would have cancelled them before they even made it to a second season.

NBC’s last place position gives them the flexibility (read: horrendous ratings) to keep shows that only garner 4 million viewers, or less than 1.0 demo.   What passes on NBC wouldn’t last 3 episodes on a high rated network.  This means that smart shows can have life instead of being killed off like an unfortunate prostitute in the first 2 minutes of every procedural.

In the 90s NBC was in a similar situation as it fell ratings-wise among networks.  As a result the programming drastically shifted to include more specific programs targeted at individual “audiences” like cable, instead of “the audience” like earlier network television.  This “nothing left to lose” attitude led NBC to air shows like Hill Street Blues and Cheers, which are critically lauded years later.  Many of NBC’s critically acclaimed (and low-rated) shows nowadays also follow in this cable-inspired example of targeting an audience.  So while these shows may be reaching their middle-upper class educated audience, they are not reaching “the audience,” and thus “the” ratings.

Ratings can obviously inhibit networks from taking risks and improving programming.  Take CBS for example, the network of Xeroxed shows.  Once a show has success in the ratings it is copied and printed and put on the air under a new title.  This technique can be seen in both the comedies and dramas on the network.  This is not to say that CBS does not contain good programming, only that they are clearly restricted by ratings, and trying to stay successful under the current measurement of achievement.

Although Nielsen ratings should not have as much influence on TV as they do, it can sometimes be a good thing for fans of television.  Because while successful networks pump out more and more of the same thing, struggling networks are willing to put it all on the line and show programs that may only attract a specific demographic, and might never be a ratings hit.  These very same shows that are the bright lights of network primetime are often critically acclaimed and adored by the audience that they do reach.  Low network ratings give networks the chance to dress up as cable and try out some niche programming.

Although it would be nice to see a network that hosts many fantastic shows doing well, I am somewhat inclined to root against NBC at the moment.  If their overall ratings improve, a show like Parks and Recreation could suddenly meet a fate like that of Veronica Mars, ending without a true end, only to be seen weekdays during syndication.  Low ratings are a motivator.  They keep networks interested in creating attractive television that is imaginative, unique and well-written, instead of phoning in the same show with new names and faces.  When we force television networks to grab our attention, they pull out all the stops and dazzle us with fascinating characters, witty jokes, and strong storylines.

So for the right now I just hope that NBC stays where it is, at the bottom of the heap (remember, NOT counting the CW).  This way I can ensure that I have every Thursday I’ve still got my Comedy Night Done Right.  All night.